Negative

I'm not quite sure if I'm becoming more realistic and able to read my body, or just losing hope. But I knew it was going to be negative. Another month of a dissappointment and seemingly lost hope. But somewhere deep in my heart God has shown me that that's not true. Dissappointed, yes. Loss of hope, no. Perhaps in having a successful pregnancy, I have lost a little hope. But God has been giving me such a sense of purpose, I am reminded that my ultimate hope is in Him, and he will not dissappoint. Hebrews 10:23 says so, read it! I find my heart has been opening up to adoption. I have no idea if that's where God will take us, but I'm excited that there are other options out there to feel hopeful about. I think I mostly feel hopeful for the future God has for me, however clueless I may be about it. He loves me, and he'll care for me. For the first time, I dont' feel fear after reading a negative pregnancy test! And that is because of hope! So, I may have lost a little, but I feel like I've gained a lot. It's just in a different place.